So excited to be able to post the first photos of How To Be Autistic in three dimensions!
I always wanted How To Be Autistic to be a beautiful art object in its own right, and it really is, it’s so beautiful and tactile and I’m just so proud of it.
It’s available to preorder anywhere books are sold. It releases on September 19th.
My new website can be found at capoe.co.uk, which has more information for you!
My god, did anyone ever tell you
How you kick in your sleep?
Or that you snore like you smoke
Forty a day?
You keep me awake, and I would
Begrudge you that –
Were it not for the opportunity
To watch you dream.
(you can find my new website at http://capoe.co.uk for more up-to-date news!)
I’m moving all my stuff over to http://capoe.co.uk in an attempt to look professional. I’ll be posting updates about my book, as well as more writing and poetry once I get back into the groove of things. I hope to see you there!
Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as she reveals to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity.
As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by her extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that she must undergo to live it. From food and fandom, to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of her identity and art. She addresses her reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. She witnesses her own behaviour with a wry humour as she sympathises with those who care for her, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’.
‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’
Punctuated by her poetry, this is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion.
Waterstones: https://www.waterstones.com/book/how-to-be-autistic/charlotte-amelia-poe/9781912408320
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-be-autistic-charlotte-amelia-poe/1130419987?ean=9781912408320
Myriad Editions (publisher): https://myriadeditions.com/books/how-to-be-autistic/
I will be the hollow tree
Standing in the forest sunlight dappling through my leaves
My insides exposed for all to see
Yes, I think I like that
I will be the beach cave
Drip drop of salt water like sound colouring sight
Stand inside me and ask what made me
Yes, I think I like that
I will be the long abandoned burrow
Once home to the woodland’s guardian souls
Half caved in and morning dew damp
Yes, I think I like that
I will be this body
Staples digging into flesh
Hospital bed and smell of antiseptic
Yes, I think I like that
I haven’t felt safe in over twenty years
That feels strange to admit
There’s a casual acceptance to a lifetime of fears
“Oh, come on, get over it.”
Like,
Maybe I don’t want this but I don’t know the alternative
Like I’ve been blinkered and I can only see straight ahead
It tells me this is the only way to live
“Stay home, stay safe, stay in bed.”
Traitorous to the last I tell myself it’s better
To live a life that’s infinitely lesser
Because I can’t breathe and I want to go home
But what is a home if you still feel alone?
I’ve known you all my life
Grown used to the way your skin ripples and twists
How your face looks just like mine
Your claws digging into my throat as you hold me a little too tightly
The way you rub my back as I bend over and spill my guts
Telling me, well, what would be worse?
To survive this or to die?
Until it is easier to not, to not want things, to not want to try
You took and you stole and you filled me with chemicals
And like, people say you should let go of things that hurt you
But darling, what am I without you?
Who could I be?
charlotte amelia poe 